


Easy A(drien)

by silveradept



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Background Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant - Freeform, F/M, One-Sided Chloé Bourgeois/Adrien Agreste, One-Sided Kagami Tsurugi/Adrien Agreste, One-Sided Lila Rossi/Adrien Agreste, Tabloids, The A+ Parenting of Gabriel Agreste
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: After being seen in the tabloids with Juleka, Gabriel decides it's time for Adrien to have his image grow up a little bit. Being Gabriel, he tells Adrien he has to be seen in the tabloids with five different girls in a week. Adrien goes along with it, and sets a secret goal to get seen with Ladybug. Everything goes according to the plan, even if not in the ways that Adrien was expecting.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 21
Kudos: 155





	1. One Week, Five Girls

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from an adaptation of The Scarlet Letter starring Emma Stone, which was the genesis of the whole idea. Enjoy!
> 
> All hail [AlexSeanchai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/pseuds/AlexSeanchai), a most wonderful beta that makes works (including this one) better.

"Adrien," Gabriel said as soon as he had sat to the dinner table, "is there something you need to talk to me about?"

"Nnnnnoooo?" Adrien replied, confused. "What would I need to talk to you about?"

Gabriel sighed. "Adrien, you are fast becoming a man. While I had hoped that your mother would be here with me to talk you through this, it is still my duty, as your father, to guide you through puberty and help you make wise decisions."

"Wait," Adrien said. "A-are you giving me the sex talk?"

"Certainly not!" Gabriel thundered, before composing himself. "Although, if you have questions, Nathalie will be able to answer them."

Adrien stifled the sigh of disappointment and the grin that followed thinking about how awkward it would be for Gabriel to have to give him that talk.

"What do you mean, then?" Adrien asked.

Gabriel gestured to Nathalie, who set several tabloid front pages down in front of him. Underneath headlines such as "Agreste Taken?" and "Golden Goose Goes Goth" were pictures of Adrien and Juleka, heads together, looking at their homework.

"We were studying!" Adrien exclaimed. "Juleka needed some help with a problem. That's it."

"You know the Agreste brand and your fashion career depends on you appearing desirable and available to everyone," Gabriel continued, as if he hadn't heard. "Giving your fans the idea that you're 'off the market,' as it were, would be disastrous."

"Fine. I'll make sure not to sit too close to my study partners," Adrien snapped.

"On the contrary," Gabriel said. "It is clear that many of your fans are progressing to the age where they would like to see you as a romantic goal."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Adrien grumbled.

"I think it is an appropriate time for you to be seen as testing the waters for potential romantic partners." Gabriel nodded to himself. "As befits your age, you deserve some choice in how to accomplish this goal."

Adrien raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure he had heard correctly.

"I want you to appear in the tabloids again. Five times, with five different girls, by one week from now. The girls you choose and the methods you employ are up to you."

"And there's the other shoe," Adrien said, shaking his head. After some thought, Adrien nodded,a slow smile spreading across his face. "Fine. But I get my own expense account and nobody asks any questions about how I use it. If you want me to be a teenage playboy, I'm not going to ask my dates to pay half."

"Take it up with Nathalie," Gabriel said. "Regardless, five girls. One week."


	2. Childhood Crush Stung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloé jumps to conclusions and takes it out on Adrien.

"Ridiculous!" Chloé nearly shouted as they walked through the plaza. "She's a lesbian!"

Adrien nodded. "And happy with Rose," he added at a normal volume.

"It would have only taken one shot to see how sickening those two are with each other," Chloé grumbled.

"Yep," Adrien agreed again. "But Father decided I'm allowed to grow up enough to be seen as dateable."

"Oh, honey," Chloé said pityingly, "you're already seen as much more than that."

Adrien had seen a few of the 'Agreste Is Legal' countdowns on the Internet. He'd been amused by a couple, but there had been at least one where he'd clicked "back" as fast as he could.

"If you want to know what your fans really thought about you, I'm pretty sure Dupain-Cheng's bedroom would be just the place," Chloé said, grinning.

Adrien blushed. "Marinette is my friend. If I want to know about my fans, I can ask Wayhem."

Chloé shook her head. "Adri-kins, you are not that dense. If you wanted, all you would have to do is snap your fingers and you could have anyone you wanted doing anything you wanted."

"Except you, of course," Adrien teased.

"Naturally," Chloé said airily. " _I_ would never be so desperate as to beg for help to be seen with someone."

"I think Sabrina would get super-jealous if anyone came between her and you," Adrien said, grinning.

Chloé's absolute murder-glare at the suggestion made Adrien quickly realize she was equally affronted by the idea of anyone getting between them, and he swiftly mentally recategorized a lot of what they had said about each other and the standing cosplay dates the two had.

"I was hoping for a favor, Chloé," Adrien said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Because Father wants me to be seen with so many girls—"

"Of course I'll go on a date with you, Adri-kins," Chloé purred. "Anything for my childhood bestie."

"—I was hoping you could get me in contact with Ladybug?" Adrien finished.

Adrien watched Chloé's face change from indulgent to homicidal (and realized _this_ was Chloé:'s true murder face) and braced himself for what followed.

"How _dare_ you play with a lady's heart like that, you monster!"

"But I—"

"I am not just a stepping stone to use to get to who you really want."

"You—"

"Don't treat me like some floozy, Adrien Agreste." Chloé learned in close, narrowing her eyes at him. "I'll still be here when she breaks your heart."

Chloé spun on her heel and marched off, head held high.

"What just happened?" Adrien said to the empty air. "What did I do wrong?" he said, taking a seat on a nearby bench. A short while later, a hand landed firmly on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw who was attached to the hand: the Gorilla.

"Better luck next time," the Gorilla signed.

"Time to go home," Adrien signed back.

* * *

Looking at the headlines for the next day, Adrien cringed. "Is Bourgeois too bougie for Agreste?" and "Queen Bee Stings Model Behavior" were the biggest opinions in the tabloids, but all of the others seemed to follow suit. He was annoyed at all of the photographs accompanying the speculation about what he was up to choosing to show Chloé when she was upset about something, He wasn't surprised, given the amount of spectacle Chloé had engaged in, but he had hoped they might choose to also show the perfectly normal moments they had shared in between those spots of Chloé being dramatic

"I expect more out of you than engineering a spat with a childhood friend, Adrien," Gabriel said after reading the tabloids himself. "If you're going to raise your profile, you should be aiming higher. Find someone who is famous, or who has a clear connection to someone famous, so you can be introduced to them."

Adrien nodded, hoping to get away from the table without any further instructions from his father, or worse, being assigned a staffer to help him with his task. He still hadn't understood why Chloé had exploded at him, or why she'd sent him a text reading "You're welcome" an hour later. He had to stifle a laugh while examining the pictures, as one of the shots had perfectly captured Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Manon Chamack making silly faces at each other in the background while Chloé was raging theatrically at him.

Thankfully, his father had no further commentary on Adrien's tabloid adventure from yesterday, and Adrien was able to get away soon after he'd finished breakfast. If he was going to accomplish his goal of getting photographed with Ladybug, he needed to follow up with another source than Chloé.


	3. Duel Strategies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami helps Adrien come up with a plan to achieve his goal, and declares she'll be there for him when he realizes it's not all sunshine and Ladybugs.

"You're distracted, Adrien," Kagami said, slapping his mask with her saber. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," he said, resetting himself on the piste and returning to _en garde_. Kagami deflected his first strike with a flick of her wrist and let him drive himself onto the point of her saber with his momentum.

"Sit," Kagami said, stepping off the piste, removing her mask, and settling herself on a nearby bench. Adrien sighed and sat.

"You are not fencing at your capacity. Something is taking your focus and attention. What is it?" she asked.

"It's nothing, really," Adrien said. In response, Kagami began examining her saber, checking the tip and the flex to make sure that nothing was out of order. Satisfied that her sword was in good order, Kagami leaned toward Adrien.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want," she said quietly.

"It's the tabloid project," Adrien volunteered. "Father told me I had to get photographed with a lot of different girls."

"I can help you with that," Kagami said seriously. "I have an unscheduled afternoon after we are done here."

"What?"

"I am, after all, a girl, and I have already told you a few times that I would like to get to know you better. Preferably romantically, but platonically would be good as well. And I have free time to help you."

Adrien looked confused, his mouth working what might have been words, but no sound came out.

"Deal," he finally said, standing up and putting his mask back on. "First to five buys drinks."

"I look forward to it," Kagami replied, setting her own mask back into place. They returned to the piste, saluted each other, and attacked in earnest. Kagami scored a quick point on Adrien, slipping past an aggressive thrust to touch him on the shoulder, before Adrien rallied and scored two methodical points against her defense. Kagami evened them up by getting fiercely aggressive, and took the lead again by overwhelming Adrien's attempts at deflecting her away. Adrien got his third by swatting Kagami on the arm when she extended her lunge a hair too much. The two of them traded simultaneous strikes that neither of them could determine right-of-way on, bringing their total to four.

Kagami scored the final point by stabbing Adrien in the armpit just before he could strike her mask. Adrien shook his head and then shook Kagami's hand.

"One of these days, I'll beat you," he said, settling back onto the bench and getting some water.

"No, you won't," Kagami said, sitting next to him. "But I will enjoy all the gifts you'll buy for me."

M. D'Argencourt called a halt to practice, sending everyone on their way. After a rinse and quick change, Adrien and Kagami went to a nearby café.

"You need a strategy, Adrien," Kagami told him when they had gathered drinks and snacks and found a table. "If you are to succeed, you should have who you intend to ask in mind when you explain it to them."

"It's not like I can just ask Ladybug to appear and she will," Adrien pointed out.

"You can still work toward making it more likely," Kagami countered, then realized what she had suggested. "I am not encouraging you to get akumatized, Adrien," she said softly.

"Not planning on it," Adrien said, grinning at her. "I understand what you meant, though. There are some people who might be closer to Ladybug than others."

"You know at least two of them already," Kagami said. "Alya occasionally gets interviews with Ladybug, and you've told me Lila says she's friendly with her."

Adrien nodded. "Do you think they would be okay with it?"

"Can you be as honest with them as you have been with me?"

"It didn't work out so well for Chloé," Adrien said.

"Asking someone who has feelings for you if they can help you get in contact with someone else you have feelings for is devastating, Adrien."

Adrien knew his confusion was showing, but he couldn't put together what Kagami had meant. "But, you…" he started.

"Do you intend to ask any of these women out as well as ask for their favor?" she asked.

"No."

"They are not my romantic rivals, then," Kagami said. "And…" Kagami set her face in a hard line, looking to Adrien like she was trying to hide her feelings. "I would be okay being a secondary romantic partner to Ladybug, if that were what happened."

"What?" Adrien said, more confused than before.

"Do you think that being the boyfriend of a superhero means she will be available for you all the time?" Kagami said.

"…Nooooo?" 

"You will have unmet needs, and you will want someone who understands your situation to talk to about your fears and insecurities, and someone who can be available to you when Ladybug is not," Kagami said, with the same tone of voice as if she were commenting on his fencing form.

"You shouldn't have to settle for me," Adrien said, reaching out to take Kagami's hands in his. "It's not fair to you if you don't get what you want."

Kagami smiled at him, but it was the smile she used before putting on her fencing mask. "You and I, Adrien? What we want doesn't matter until we can get free. I think we understand each other better than many other possible matches, and I would like to try romance with you, but we won't know whether we want each other until we can truly choose. Until then, I'll support you…and I'll wait."

Adrien squeezed Kagami's hand, still trying to make sense of what he'd been told. "It seems like supporting me has a great cost to you, and I feel like I'm taking advantage of you somehow," he said.

"My help is my choice," she said. "If I can't convince you to change targets, I can at least be the best wingman you can have."

Adrien looked at Kagami and shook his head, still not really understanding anything about this situation.

"Let's start planning," Kagami said crisply. "Who are you going to approach first, Alya or Lila?"

"Alya," Adrien said immediately.

"Why?"

"I think she's got a better-developed network of contacts," he said. "If I have to send messages through intermediaries, Alya seems like the person that can route them the most effectively. And Lila is likely to bring more attention to the project than I really am comfortable with."

"All right," Kagami said. "What's the message you are going to compose?"

Adrien shrugged, and Kagami launched a different consideration at him. They spent the rest of their time sketching out the approach Adrien would take with Alya the next day. When it was time for her to go, Kagami left with a bow, and then a wave as she got into her mother's car. Finding his own driver and bodyguard nearby, Adrien continued to refine the plan they had started all the way back home.

* * *

Adrien scowled at the headlines. "A Taste For The East" was the least lewd of the banners on top of the pictures from the café. One of the farther-out stories suggested Adrien was trying to build himself a harem, with Marinette and Kagami as the first members, based on what looked like a pretty convoluted shot of Adrien and Kagami holding hands, but Adrien appearing to look straight at Marinette, who was delivering some of Tom and Sabine's pastries to the café. Adrien shook his head at how far away they were from the truth. He respected Marinette and Kagami for their abilities. His heart was still Ladybug's. Even if he could only tell her how much he felt for her as Chat Noir.

He could tell her what Adrien wanted as Chat Noir, Adrien realized. Just a quick quip while they were out on patrol, or during the next akuma battle, to put the idea in her head. And then she’d wonder why Chat Noir had such an interest in Adrien, and she might put two and three together and realize that Chat and Adrien were the same person, and then his identity would be uncovered, and that, as best he could tell, would be a disaster. Ladybug kept insisting that they not learn each other’s identities, because it would put them both in greater danger and might tip off Hawkmoth if they started getting overly protective of each other. That seemed like too great of a risk to take when all Adrien wanted was some photos of them together. So suggesting as Chat Noir was out.

Gabriel entered the dining room and started looking through the papers. To Adrien’s surprise, Gabriel seemed to approve of his choice to spend time with Kagami.

"Mlle. Tsurugi is a respectable young lady to be around," he said, examining the papers. "Mme. Tsurugi and I are still in negotiations for some of our businesses to prosper together, and having our children getting along and socializing will ease the process considerably for both of us. If you were looking for someone to settle down with, when these wild times of tabloid rumors and intimate pictures are done, Mlle. Tsurugi would be an excellent choice."

Adrien decided he wouldn't mention Kagami's confession, lest Gabriel decide it was for the best for all of them to start dating or arrange a marriage for them. From what he'd heard of Mme. Tsurugi, the idea might also appeal to her, and that would put both of them in a difficult situation. It wouldn't be unpleasant, necessarily, but Kagami had been pretty explicit about how she felt their parents were not nearly as different as he had thought while they were planning his approach yesterday.

"Does that you mean you want us to spend more time together?" Adrien said, wondering if he could get Gabriel to call the entire project off.

"No, you will still follow your regular schedule, and I still expect you to finish this project," Gabriel said. "If you feel that Mlle. Tsurugi is someone you would like to pursue after this is done, talk to Nathalie and she will arrange for some chaperoned dates to begin a slow courtship." Gabriel stood from the table, indicating the end of the discussion, as far as he was concerned, and left for his office.

Adrien finished his breakfast, rehearsing the outline of the plan he and Kagami had developed. He needed to remember to thank Kagami for her help, both in getting him another step closer to his goal and for helping him plan his strategy. Preferably without having to go through Nathalie.


	4. Status Update: Still Single

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien asks if Alya knows any direct way of getting in contact with Ladybug.

"Hey, Adrien!" Alya waved to him. "What's going on?"

"Hey, Alya," Adrien said nervously. "How are things going for the Ladyblog?"

"I just got some new editing software that will hopefully make the job of cutting down the raw footage into something useful go a lot faster and easier," Alya said, beaming. "What's going on with you?"

"I was hoping I could pick your brain for a bit," Adrien said.

"Sure," Alya replied. "I'm meeting Nino at André's cart soon. Do you want to tag along?"

"Yeah," Adrien said, brightly. "I haven't had anything from André's in a while. It'll be my treat."

"Lead on," Alya said, grinning. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"You're the Ladyblogger," Adrien started. Alya nodded at him encouragingly. "You probably know more about Ladybug than anyone. Except maybe Chat Noir," he amended.

"I do pride myself on being able to dig deep into any story until I find the truth," Alya said. "And I vet my stories and sources before I post, unlike those jerks at Miraculous Channel. Miraculous Conspiracy Theories is more like it."

"I…was hoping you could do me a favor." Adrien quickly explained his predicament, having to stop several times when Alya laughed too hard to hear anything. "So, I was hoping you had a line to Ladybug, so we could chat. And maybe she would laugh at me less."

"Sorry, Adrien. You do such a great impression of your father, though, it's hard not to laugh at it," Alya wheezed. "You could probably have a good time at an open mic night if you ever wanted to go."

"I can imagine the headlines on that, especially if I flopped," Adrien said, looking chagrined.

"Maybe not that, then," Alya replied, looking thoughtful. "So, _M. Agreste_ told his son to find a better class of hussy to get photographed with so his image wouldn't suffer? I'm pretty sure you've heard me say this before, Adrien, but your father's obsessed with you. And not in a good way."

"I don't think he knows the word 'hussy', much less how to use it properly," Adrien said, laughing. "And I wouldn't call any of my friends something so vulgar."

"You sweet, innocent child," Alya said, patting him on the head. "Try not to lose this as you get jaded about everything."

Adrien gave a small laugh. "I still need to figure out how to get in contact with Ladybug, though."

"Unless you wanted to hang out with me when I go on akuma footage collection, or you decide that you want to get yourself akumatized, you don't have many options." When Adrien didn't respond, Alya frowned at him. "Agreste, you have a better sense of self-preservation than that. Tempting Hawkmoth was a joke, not a suggestion."

"I'm not so sure about that any more, based on the pictures with Chloé. She looks like she's ready to stab me."

"Chloé is a drama queen, Adrien," Alya said. "We all know she'd be happier if she would just acknowledge Sabrina's crush on her. But that would ruin her carefully crafted image as Queen Bitch."

"She's always been nice…nice _r_ to me," Adrien said.

"She still thinks she can catch you one day, Adrien," Alya said, ruffling his hair. "Once you show up with someone on your arm, you'll join the rest of us in the doghouse. We've already picked out your curtains."

"Oh, hey, here's André's," Adrien said, grateful for the distraction.

"Hello!" André boomed. "Two friends on a stroll together?"

"You got it, André." Alya beamed back at him. "Lay it on us."

André busied himself with crafting the perfect set of scoops for them.

"To answer your question, no, I don't have any direct way of contacting Ladybug," Alya said, then leaned in close to Adrien. "I hope they get some good shots," she whispered. "I need some new 'About Me' pictures for my portfolios."

"Sly fox," Adrien murmured back, grinning. "Spot any?"

"Plenty."

"And here we are!" André exclaimed, presenting them with his creations.

"And there's Nino," Adrien said, smiling and waving.

* * *

"Ladyblogger looking to make a scoop" and "Césaire shows she's ready to 'lean in' " were the headlines Adrien liked best from the tabloids the next day.

"I suppose this is your idea of an acceptably famous person?" Gabriel asked archly.

"Alya's blog has millions of followers worldwide, so I'd say she has at least a moderate amount of celebrity," Adrien returned, careful to keep his voice neutral.

"So what was she there to ask of you? Did she want more 'likes' from getting close?"

"I asked her advice about how to raise my visibility, so that other people might also notice me," Adrien said. He didn't _have_ to mention that he was specifically chasing a particular red and black spotted hero's attention.

"I doubt someone who chases after vigilantes and then posts footage of them for free has anything to say about effectively catching the attention of the kind of people you need to be seen with, Adrien," Gabriel said, standing from the table. Before he left, he turned back to Adrien with a final piece of advice. "Set your sights higher than someone willing to throw themselves at you sexually."

"Excuse you?" Adrien said to the empty space. Looking down at the paper in his hand, he shuffled through the pictures trying to find which one Gabriel had made that remark about. There was a nice one of Alya leaning in to him, where he was smiling, but the shot had accidentally centered Nino as he was arriving, in an animated conversation with Marinette. That couldn't possibly be the one.

His phone chimed. Opening it, he understood what Gabriel had been talking about. Alya had sent a picture. From that angle, it looked like Alya was leaning in to him to give him an unobstructed view down her shirt (given what Alya was wearing that day, there would have been nothing to see, but a person looking at the picture wouldn't have known that) and Adrien was grinning. It wouldn't have been too hard to interpret the grin as Adrien liking what he saw.

"My new profile picture," she'd captioned it, with a wink.

Adrien checked and saw that she'd sent it to Nino and Marinette, too. He was going to get teased for it in class, undoubtedly.


	5. They're Just (Guy) Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino consoles Adrien about his lack of Ladybug.

"Looking good, ladykiller!" Nino called to him after school.

"Knock it off," Adrien said, laughing. "You know the truth about that picture."

"I'm not blaming anyone," Nino said, feigning great innocence. "You're a model, dude, you're probably on everyone's cheat list."

"Oh, yes," Adrien said. "You know me, Nino. I'm a stray tom, looking to make as many litters as I can. I'll have a one night stand with everyone as they line up outside my door."

They both held a serious face for a beat or two longer before collapsing into laughter together.

"You should have heard her laugh," Nino said, putting his hand on Adrien's shoulder to steady himself. "I think she was up most of the night trying to figure out how to spin it."

"Well, you can tell her that I was suitably embarrassed," Adrien said. "I didn't have a clue what Father was talking about until she sent me the picture."

"Oh? Your dad gave you a hard time about it?" Nino said, all his joviality replaced with concern.

"Yeah," Adrien replied, rubbing the back of his head. "He accused Alya of throwing herself at me for the publicity."

"That's harsh," Nino said. "Do you need a hug?"

"I'm good. I'm more worried that I'll need to keep Alya away from Father."

"Why's that?"

"She seemed okay with the idea of getting photographed. I'm not sure if she would be so okay with getting slagged by Father."

Nino snickered.

"Sorry, dude," he said at Adrien's look. "Alya called it a badge of honor when she heard."

"How did she hear?" Adrien asked. "I didn't say anything until now about it."

"Nathalie sent her an email saying she wasn't allowed around you unsupervised until she could prove that she wasn't going to be a 'shameless hussy,' as she put it."

"You're f—messing with me," Adrien said, staring. "Were those really the words she used?"

"Yeah," Nino said. "Why?"

"Alya joked that my coming to see her was trying to get a better grade of hussy," Adrien said.

"That's spooky," Nino said, and then frowned for a bit. "Oh, hey, did you see this?" he added, tapping on his phone and waving Adrien over.

Adrien glanced over to Nino's screen. He'd called up a song called 'Infosec Breach' on the screen, which seemed to be a mix of thrash metal and chip tunes.

"Maybe," Adrien said. "Can't say for certain."

"It's a good song," Nino said, thumbing it away. "By the way, dude, have you tried talking to Lila?"

"Not yet."

"Any particular reason?"

"I'm pretty sure it would upset Marinette. She's made it pretty clear what she thinks about Lila. It would probably be a bad idea to encourage their antagonism. And I’m not completely convinced that Lila could deliver, if I’m being honest."

Nino considered the possible results and nodded. "Yeah, probably not worth bringing out the butterfly brigade, although…"

"No," Adrien said forcefully. "That would be completely tactless. She'd shoot me down in a heartbeat."

"You're right, dude," Nino said, giving Adrien a friendly backslap. "Whoa, dude, you are _tense_. Let me take care of that for you," he said, steering Adrien to one of the park's benches.

Alya had raved to Marinette about Nino's massage techniques plenty of times, Adrien thought as Nino dug in, but there was a difference between knowing about something and experiencing it. It didn't take long for Adrien to begin feeling his shoulders and neck relax under Nino's hands.

Adrien's phone chimed. He glanced at the notifications. "Sorry, Nino, got to go." Adrien paused. "Did you really just give me a fifteen minute massage?"

Nino nodded. "Tried to talk to you a couple times, dude, but you were definitely in your happy place."

Adrien nodded. "Text me what I have to bribe Alya with to get you to do that more often," he said, heading for the park exit.

"Can do," Nino said, waving and chuckling.

* * *

“Bi The Way: Adrien Likes Boys, Too", "Slow Pan: Agreste Model Massage Spread" and Adrien's personal favorite, "Bi, Bi, Birdies: The Competition Just Expanded" were among the many headlines and blog posts Adrien saw with the pictures of his walk with Nino in the park. With their heads together, looking at Nino's phone, the close distance they kept, and especially one picture where Adrien looked completely blissed out while Nino was working his shoulders, even he would be hard-pressed to believe they were just friends.

So it was no surprise to him that Father sent Nathalie in his place with the morning tabloids.

"Puberty is a time of confusion for many adolescents," Nathalie began, looking so much like she wanted Gabriel to be the one giving this particular lecture. Adrien didn't blame her. _He_ wanted Father to have to try and figure out how to ask his son if he was interested in men as well as women, instead of sending his personal assistant to do it.

"It can sometimes take a while for someone to sort out what their romantic and sexual interests are," Nathalie continued, forging ahead with her duty. "Your father, of course, and all of us support you in whatever decisions you make about who you are and who you choose to love."

"That's very nice, Nathalie, but it would actually mean something if it were coming from Father personally," Adrien said. "If I were trying to make a decision about whether to come out publicly, I would feel much more confident about it if he were able to be in the same room as I was when I did it."

"I…understand, Adrien," Nathalie said. "It's not an easy decision to say that you're in love with someone who might not reciprocate your feelings. And, it's even harder if you don't know whether the important people in your life will support you when you say it."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that," Adrien replied. A beat of silence passed between them.

"If you wish to come out publicly, Adrien, we'll make the necessary arrangements," Nathalie said.

Adrien stifled his sigh. "That's not necessary, Nathalie."

"Your father also has arranged an afternoon shoot with Mlle. Rossi tomorrow," Nathalie said. "He said it would be an easy opportunity for your project."

"And when am I going to be graced with Mlle. Rossi's presence?"

"Right after fencing practice," Nathalie said. "Your schedule should be available on your phone."

Nathalie left the dining room. Adrien peered at the papers and laughed. One of the pictures of Nino's message would have been a great advertising shot for Tom and Sabine's, but for the two of them in the foreground. And it looked a little like Marinette was staring out through the window at them, now that he looked at it.

Adrien shrugged.


	6. If She Hollers, Let Her Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lila tries to get Adrien to be intimate with her. Adrien isn't _that_ easy.

"Well, of course I can help you," Lila said, smiling. "I'm Ladybug's best friend and closest confidante."

Adrien was sure that was Chat Noir, but Lila always carried on like she knew something about Ladybug that he didn't. After all, that was nominally why he had asked her about it.

"I'm working on a short deadline, Lila," Adrien added. “So, if you can get in contact with her sooner, I would appreciate it."

"Of course," she said breezily. "It won't take long at all, but why do you want to get in contact with Ladybug so urgently?"

"I—" Adrien realized the complete truth wouldn’t do in this particular situation and switched his explanation for the one he would give his father, if he ever asked. "I haven't been able to properly thank her for all the times she saved Paris. And me," he added as a calculated afterthought.

"Do you have any special messages you want me to deliver?" Lila said, getting closer to him. "I can take anything you want to her."

"It's just a thank-you," Adrien said.

"Really? You don't have any special gestures of affection to pass along?" Lila said, leaning in much the same way that Alya had earlier. Unlike Alya, however, Lila's wardrobe for the shoot was loose enough that if Adrien looked down, he would see a lot more than he was comfortable with.

"I, uh, think it would have a different meaning coming from you, Lila. I don't remember if Ladybug has ever stated a preference, but I'm pretty sure you and I would be different experiences for her."

Lila pressed herself closer to Adrien. "You can trust me to deliver the message exactly as I received it," she said.

"No, no! Mlle. Rossi, that is the wrong energy!" Giuseppe shouted, looking at them through the lens of his camera. Adrien took the excuse to pull away from Lila and look at the photographer.

"Adrien, you are supposed to be the distant but approachable boy," Giuseppe continued. "Mlle. Rossi, you are the hopeful but ultimately shy girl hoping he will notice you and fall in love."

While Giuseppe was fiddling with the lights, Lila scowled at Adrien. "I'm hurt that you aren't trusting me to deliver your message to Ladybug, Adrien."

" _There's no message,_ " Adrien ground out.

"Sure," Lila said, letting her contempt show. "If there was no message, you wouldn't have any trouble passing it on to me to deliver."

"Adrien, distant," Giuseppe said. Adrien immediately posed himself, with the facial expression he'd learned from a host club comedy.

"Perfect. Mlle. Rossi—"

"Lila."

"Mlle. Rossi, pining, please."

Adrien knew that would sting. Of course, Lila couldn't have known that Giuseppe only used first names with people he knew he could work with, and Lila was still too new to him for that privilege to be extended. It had taken Adrien a few years to earn the privilege himself, and Giuseppe was never shy about pulling it if he thought Adrien was being unreasonable.

"Good, good," Giuseppe said, snapping some photos. "Now, shoulder to shoulder, but each of you looking off in the distance. No, Mlle. Rossi, don't cross your arms in front of your chest. This is about the clothing, not about your bust size."

Giuseppe continued to give them directions, only pausing when they were posed and he was ready to take pictures. Adrien appreciated how easily he managed to keep up a running commentary that wouldn't allow Lila to get in a word edgewise when he had something for them to do. He could also see the frustration starting to show at the edge of Lila's features.

"Mlle. Rossi, you look like you are ready to poison your partner," Giuseppe said after a long pose. “Take a break. Adrien, can you do the solo shots?"

Adrien nodded.

Giuseppe came up to him to look at the clothing.

"Thank you, Giuseppe," Adrien said quietly.

"Don't. It's not hard to see where her interest lies. Be gentle with her."

"I'll try."

"Good," Giuseppe said much more audibly. "First you, then Mlle. Rossi, and then we will be done for today."

* * *

Adrien stared at the headlines in horror. "Photo-Shoot the Messenger," "Diplomatic Incident," "Rossi Rebuffed," all made it particularly clear how the tabloids had decided to characterize Lila's behavior yesterday, and all of them were publishing pictures that took the worst looks that Adrien had shown, combined with Lila's clear interest in him. It did not look like a good combination.

"Much better," Gabriel said at the breakfast table, gesturing to the papers. "Mlle. Rossi is the caliber of person I expect you to start associating with, Adrien. I'm sure you'll both be able to come to an understanding where you both use each other to further your own ambitions."

"What about pursuing someone who I have an attraction to?" Adrien said.

"Love is a luxury that you can pursue after you have established yourself as someone worth pursuing. There will be someone who is worthy of you that you will fall in love with."

Adrien shook his head, brandishing the tabloids to make it look like he was concerned about the headlines rather than what Father had said. "This doesn't look like the beginnings of a happy relationship."

"You continue to look at this as if happiness has anything to do with it, Adrien. Perhaps I was wrong to give you this much freedom to choose."

"I'll keep trying with Lila," Adrien said, hoping he didn't sound as dejected as he felt. "We still have the rest of the shoot to work it out with each other."

"See that you do, Adrien." Gabriel rose from the table and departed without any further word, leaving Adrien behind with the papers. Fanning them out in front of him, Adrien wondered how he was going to fix the problem. He could let Lila moon all over him, sure, but…Adrien looked closer at one of the pictures. No doubt about it, that was Marinette, watching the photoshoot. He didn't like the look in her eyes as she stared at them.

If Marinette and Lila were both at school today, someone might leave with a black eye. Or worse.


	7. A Plan With A Bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan works, even if the execution is unexpected.

Thankfully, Lila wasn't at school, which allowed Adrien to explain to Marinette what Father had arranged and what his feelings were about the way Lila had tried to set up a romantic photo of them for the tabloids.

"So I heard he wanted to get set up with Ladybug," Marinette said to Alya as he started to walk away. "Is that a good idea?"

Adrien quickly found a nearby table to sit at and listen in.

"Why not?" Alya said.

"Don't you think Chat Noir would be jealous?" Marinette prodded.

"I think he'd be fine with it," Adrien said quietly to himself.

"You're sure? You've been showing up with a different person every day this week, dude," Nino said to him, sliding into his hiding spot and, Adrien realized, giving it some credibility. "Must be a slow week, because they were even thirsty about you hanging out with me."

"Imagine what Hawkmoth might do if he thought that he could use Adrien to get to Ladybug," Marinette was saying to Alya, gesturing for emphasis. "It would put him in danger. It might put his family in danger. It might put his friends in danger."

"Not really a worry," Adrien said. "Father doesn't care enough to worry about that."

Nino punched him gently on the shoulder. "You have us, dude, so don't go thinking there's nobody there for you."

"Unless you want to be known as a kidnapper, there's not much you can do right now."

Whatever comment Nino had been ready to respond with was drowned out by a metallic screech. "Adrien Agreste!" shouted the akuma, who looked like an amalgamation of Lila and a photography camera. "What kind of model makes their partner look bad?"

Adrien looked for a convenient exit, but with the way all of his classmates were scattering, it didn't look like he'd have a chance to escape, and he didn't want to endanger anybody. He slipped underneath the table and closed his eyes just as Lila's flash went off, bathing the room in a binding light.

"Lila!" he heard Nino say admiringly. "Let me touch you!"

Several other classmates echoed their praise for Lila. Adrien heard chairs moving and shoes pounding as the slower-to-evacuate group began to rush toward her. While he felt a tug in the direction he knew Lila was, Adrien realized he didn't have the same compulsion to go to her, and tried to use the commotion to slip away. It seemed safe, so far, not to look at her, and based on how he’d heard Nino react, he didn’t want to test that theory and be right. Good thing he'd been Chat Noir long enough to get a sense of what a room consisted of by hearing, instead of by sight.

Lila spotted him before he could get away cleanly, though, putting any thoughts about transforming and figuring out how to tell Ladybug about his predicament firmly back on the shelf.

"Bring Adrien to me!" she shouted, and Adrien heard the students racing to comply. No time for subtlety. He took off for the doors, shoving them open and sprinting down the hallway. He cleared the main doors of the school and looked for the nearest safe space. The park was too exposed. The Métro would have too many people. Tom and Sabine's would keep the people count down, although he detested the thought of putting them in danger because of himself.

"Adrien!" he heard a second or two before Ladybug swung through, snagging him by the waist before depositing them on a nearby rooftop.

"M—Ladybug, thank you," he said. "One of my classmates is the akuma. If you look at her flash, and then see her, you'll want to be close to her and do whatever she wants."

"Why does she want you?" Ladybug asked, ducking them out of sight when the group of schoolmates burst through the doors, looking for him.

"We had a photo shoot yesterday," Adrien said quietly. An idea popped into his head on how he could best protect Ladybug from Lila, and before he could think it through completely, his mouth decided it was good enough and went with it. "Did you get my message from her?" he added.

"What message?"

"She's your best friend, isn't she? Lila Rossi? She claimed she could get a message to you if I left it with her."

Whether as himself or as Chat Noir, Adrien had very rarely seen Ladybug get _angry_ , but it was written all over her face that he'd said the wrong thing.

"Lila is not my friend, best or otherwise," she said. "She should never be trusted. Everything she says is lies."

"I'm sorry," Adrien said. He hadn’t wanted to upset her _that_ much, but if Ladybug was seeing red, he thought she might have a better chance of withstanding whatever compulsion Lila could bring to bear on her if she couldn’t dodge a flash.

"Stay here, please," Ladybug told him, as the Center of Attention burst through the doors to the school, screeching in frustration. Ladybug disappeared over the rooftop.

"What do you think, Plagg?" Adrien whispered. "Should Chat Noir make an appearance?"

"Your call,” Plagg replied, “but the idea of becoming an additional liability to Ladybug seems like the worst idea for getting her to spend time with you."

Adrien grimaced."You're right, Plagg."

For several tense minutes, Adrien listened to the fight, fighting the subtle pull telling him to reveal himself, cheering silently when he heard Ladybug call for her Lucky Charm, and for whatever plan came from that object work. He felt relieved when the Miraculous Cure rushed through him, removing what amount of compulsion Lila had managed to put on him, before Ladybug herself landed on the rooftop, looking pleased with herself.

Adrien felt his brain trying to retain control in her presence long enough to not look like a lovesick puppy. "Thank you for rescuing me," he managed to say.

"You're welcome," she replied, smiling brightly at him, before wrapping her arm around his waist again and swinging them back to ground level.

"Glad to see that you're okay," she said, flashing him the smile again and disappearing into the skyline.

"Did you ask her out?" Nino said, appearing beside him. "Or were you too busy dreaming about your perfect life together that you forgot to say something?"

Adrien blinked and realized he didn't remember any of the time that had passed between Ladybug leaving and Nino arriving. "I must have blanked," he said, laughing.

"Pretty girl will do that to you," Nino said, giving him a friendly shoulder tap. "And speaking of," he said, spotting Alya in the distance, "I am going to go apologize for getting whomped by an akuma yet again."

Adrien laughed and waved Nino on. Staring into the distance where he'd seen Ladybug disappear from, Adrien smiled. Given that there was an akuma at the school, there was still the chance his plan would work anyway, even though he'd been too tongue-tied to ask her to stay a little longer for the cameras. Either way, the Ladyblog would probably be full of the rejected photos from the papers and the tabloids. He could probably put together a decent-looking tabloid fake himself if he really needed to.

* * *

Adrien grinned to himself as he fanned a selection of tabloids out at the table. Front-page shots of Ladybug carrying him by the waist, with both of them looking calm and comfortable with each other, occasionally punctuated by Adrien looking a bit lovelorn as she flew off into the distance. Lila getting herself akumatized had brought Ladybug, so in a very twisted way, the promise to be able to bring Ladybug had come true. Adrien would have to thank Lila at school, preferably with a stack of these great shots in hand to make it clear what he was thanking her for. The headlines were mixed between favorable and unfavorable, putting "Divakuma: Spurned Classmate Foiled By Ladybug" next to "Ice King Agreste: Hawkmoth's Greatest Ally." Adrien laughed at "Bug's Boy Toy," which had captured him looking at starstruck at her while she gently lowered him down.

"I suppose you think this is acceptable?" Gabriel said, coming up behind him. Adrien schooled his features to avoid giving away his mood.

"Ladybug is certainly famous," he said, leading with the obvious.

"Ladybug is a menace to orderly society with her vigilante habits. If she weren't blessed with the ability to fix her own damage, she would not be so favorably covered."

"Isn't Hawkmoth mostly responsible for those things, through the akuma?" Adrien suggested.

"Ladybug and Chat Noir could simply surrender their Miraculous and avoid the issue entirely," Gabriel countered. He studied the photographs. "I trust that you will endeavor not to be in such a dangerous situation again, Adrien."

"Yes, Father," Adrien said. Adrien certainly would do his best not to be caught in such dangerous places. He would make no such promise about Chat Noir, however.

"However, since you seem to have attracted her attention, it would be prudent to capitalize on the opportunity," Gabriel continued. "If you should have a moment with Ladybug again, be sure to invite her to a meal here."

Adrien blinked. "What?"

"It would be impolite not to offer hospitality to someone who has saved your life, son. And, despite what I may feel about her, I can offer her sincere thanks for keeping you safe from harm all of these times."

Adrien nodded. "Okay. The next time she saves my life, I'll invite her for dinner. Does this also mean I don't have to try so hard to get photographed by tabloids?"

"Yes, Adrien. You accomplished your goals exceptionally well. I hope you've learned a useful lesson about perception and your image." Adrien nodded. "Good. I want the best for you at all times," Gabriel concluded.

Gabriel left, leaving Adrien the papers. Whistling, he gathered them to put in his Ladybug collection. Assuming he couldn't find all of them online and save them that way, anyway. The Ladyblog would be the perfect place to start looking, and he only had a little bit of time before he had to get ready for school.


End file.
